Gandolf's Confessions of a Shopaholic

I admit that I was one of the *cough**cough* million customers who ordered a Snuggie. Correction - I purchased two (2) Snuggies; one as a gift to someone who so desperately needs to keep her mildly chilled forearms slightly warmer while eating and changing channels, and another for whom I thought would appreciate a charismatic afghan.

Something that gets lost in the ridiculousness of the Snuggie (besides my book light which I received as a free gift for placing my order, a $15 value) and it's Arch-Nemesis, The Evil Slanket, is that there is functionality behind the laughter. Who doesn't curl up at night with a blanket, then suddenly realize they hate the show they're watching, they forget to email somebody, they suddenly have the urge to cook a 5-course meal, or even worse, they feel the desire to rescue a small village under the constant, evil oppression of wizardry?
As you put on your fleece armor (available in 4 earth-tone colors), and envelope your body in this magical cloak, with Billy Mays and Ron Propeil standing idly by awaiting to hear your best Gandolf impression, it allows your imagination to take you somewhere other than your living room. You travel to the outskirts and Suburbs of Mordor.

The Snuggie is more than a blanket that slept with a hospital gown to breed this unappreciated and often laughed at love-child. It is an attic full of Grandma's old costumes. It is a stage. It is You and The Amazing Monochromatic Dreamcoat. Any dream will do. Just close your eyes, along with your curtains, and see for certain, whatever the hell you want.

It can do what no other cloth will do. It will allow you to simplify.
Infomercial products. They are your slave. They are your gimp you bring out of the closet, throw the ball-gag on, and make your life easier. If you have all of these late night products, your life would be so easy, even you could do it.
Simplify with excess.
Simplify with organization.
Organize your excess with simplification.
Just allow 6-8 weeks for Shipping and Handling.